Short Stories

"Don't you just love it when your kids do absolutely everything in their power to do the exact opposite of what you've taught them over the last two months?" -Mr. K

Sorry for not updating recently, but as you can now see, Mr. K is a little stressed.

September 29, 2010

Recapping a discussion from yesterday on "Attention Grabber" topic sentences:


Me: "Okay, class. Yesterday we talked about using an exaggeration in our topic sentence to catch our readers' attention. Can anyone give me an example of an exaggeration?"
Sammy: "I've got one, Mr. Kawel. 'This class is really fun.' "
Me: "Wha...? I...well, give me a minute to recover, class..."
Sammy: "It's not YOU, Mr. K. It's me. I'm like this in all of my classes. In here, it's just, I dunno...the teaching, I guess."
Me: "Sammy, that didn't help."

Sept 23, 2010

Second graders might be funnier than middle school students:

Jimmy: "I've walked a sheep before."
Audrey: "...okay?"
_ _ _

Amanda: "My dad is a horse."
Audrey: "I don't even want to know."

September 21, 2010

Me: "What's on your mind, Cameron?"
Cam: "Well, I'm real bummed 'cause I'm grounded for a week and I can't talk to my friends on Facebook."
Me: "Grounded? What'd you do?"
Cam: "Well, all I'm gonna say is that kids can't be kids no more, Mr. K.
          "It's really a shame that how things go today ain't the same as how it went back then..."
Me: "Back then? Back when?"
Cam: "Man, you sound like my mom, Mr. K."

September 20, 2010

Jake: "Mr. K, why are you so loud in the hallways?"
Me: "Well, I love my job, buddy."
Jake: "Well, I'd love being a student better if my ears weren't bleeding."
Me: "...umm...yes."

---

8th Grade Student: "Mr. K?"
Me: "Yo."
8th Grade Student: "I have...this, uh, friend...who...uh...well he's having trouble with another student."
Me: "What's going on? How can I help?"
8th Grade Student: "Well, my friend, he doesn't know how to handle the situation."
Me: "Yea, what's the situation?"
8th Grade Student: "He's getting picked on...by a fifth grader..."

Posting Grades - 9/17/2010

Upon posting students' grades for the first time:


Me: "OK, class. If you haven't noticed, I've posted your grades on the back wall. Please, check your grade and let me know if there is a problem."

Student calmly and silently raises his hand


Me: "What's up?"

Student: "Umm...Mr. K...I have a problem. My grade has three numbers in it...A '1' and two '0's'."

The Teaching Life Is An Excellent One

Waking up at 5:00 A.M., working until 2:30 P.M. and then really working until 10:45 every evening tends to take its toll on you. Don't get me wrong, we knew what we were getting ourselves into — you know, signing up for this whole "teaching" thing.

The long days and, occasionally, the longer nights wear us down. The smart-ass students and their helicopter parents break us down. The putrid odors — reeking, in part, from the already musty locker rooms — and odd smells that the average adolescent student gives off naturally, well, bog us down. What can two poor (no, really, actually impoverished) teachers do to cope!

This blog, that's what.

Inspired by a friend of ours from our college days, welcome to "Funny Things Our Students Say," a place where we can openly express the more simple joys of education. This blog leaves no space for self-deprecating rants on our personal problems. There is no room available for us to complain or moan about the arduous trials of being first-year teachers. If you want that crap go visit the teachers' lounge at the neighborhood school. This blog is simple: Funny things our students say. Period (yeah, we had to spell it out for the effect).

*All student names are changed to ensure privacy